Microcosmographia academica

There are five academics politics: conservaties liberals, liberal conservaties, non-placets, adullamites and young men in a hurry.

In academic circles that time in general is of no value, considerable importance is attached to tea-time, and by deferring this, you may exasperate any body of men to the point of voting against anything.

If you have applied yourself in youth to the cultivation of the Private Business habit of mind at the Union and other debating societies, questions of procedure will furnish you with many resources for wasting time.

An appeal should be made, wherever it is possible, to College Feeling. This, like other species of patriotism consist in a sincere belief that the institution to wich you belong is better than an institution to wich other people belong. In this way a healthy spirit of rivaly will be promoted. It is this feeling which makes the College System so valuable; and differentiates, more than anything else, a College from a boarding-house; for in a boarding-house hatred is concentrated, not upon rival establishment, but upon the other members of the same establishment.

Your jobs are insidious intrigues for the advancement of yourself and your friends, speciously disguised as public-spirites proposals.

Oh young academic politician, my heart if full of pity for you. Remember that other world, within the microcosm, the silent, reasonable world, where the only action is thought, and thought is free from fear.