Where fantasy ends

 

I crept into my parent’s house without waking anyone and was asleep within seconds of my head touching the pillow. The next sound I heard was: "This is the end, beautiful friend. This is the end, my only friend, the end. I’ll never look into your eyes again…" Surprised at hearing "the Doors" "The End", I struggled to rouse myself. Even as I slept I knew that was an unlikely song for Radio One on a Sunday morning. But there was no radio – it was all a dream. As it was well past 10 a.m., nearly midday, I dressed and prepared to take Natalie home. My mother offered to come with me, but I refused, confident that Ian would not be there. The curtains were closed. I could see the light bulb shining through the unlined fabric. Thinking Ian might still be asleep, I left Natalie in the car and waved to Pam Wood cleaning her windows. He could have overslept – a chance to talk in the daylight, when I wasn’t tired, when he was calm. Yet, as I stood in the hall somehow I knew he had never gone to bed.

My heart jumped when I realized that he had left a note for me. I bent forward to pick it up and out of the corner of my eye I saw him. He was kneeling in the kitchen. I was relieved – glad he was still there "Now what are you up to?"

I took a step towards him, about to speak. His head was bowed, his hands resting on the washing machine. I stared at him, he was so still. Then the rope – I hadn't notice the rope. The rope from the clothes rack was around his neck. I ran through to the sitting room and picked up the telephone. No, supposing I was wrong – another false alarm. I ran back to the kitchen and looked at his face – a long string of saliva hung from his mouth. Yes, he really had done it.

What to do next? I looked around the room expecting to see Ian standing in a corner watching my reaction. My instinct that he was playing a cruel trick. I had to tell someone. I opened the front door and saw Mr Pomfret going through his back gate. My lips opened and I mouthed his name but the words wouldn’t come. I turned to Pam and Kevin – they were still outside. Pam heard the urgency in my voice and ran to me, but I couldn’t tell her. What if it hadn’t really happened?